Ben Esra telefonda seni boşaltmamı ister misin?
Telefon Numaram: 00237 8000 92 32
Soul to Soul: Healing His Harem
Part II: Finding the Harem
In which our Hero finds out the true meaning of love and pleasure and the pain of loss. Over and over again.
Chapter 11: Reciprocity – Aiko, Part II
You can never break the chain
Life is a power that remains
A healing hand, a secret touch on the heart
A gentle hand, a secret touch on the heart
-Rush, Secret Touch
Aiko led Cody-san back into the house. She was nervous, yes, but feeling calm about what she was doing. That in itself said something – she would have expected her feelings to be full of nerves and questions. But she felt that this was the right thing for her to do.
She told Cody-san, “Please have a seat and wait for me. I will be back in a moment.”
He asked her, “Should I prepare something to drink?”
She told him, “More tea would be wonderful,” and she went to her room to get dressed again. She couldn’t believe that there he was, offering to do something for her yet again. She smiled, and dried herself off, and then got dressed.
She thought about what to wear, but since it was at night, she put on some pajamas. She thought for a moment about dressing up, but in the end this might be a long conversation, and she wanted to be comfortable.
When she got back out, Cody-san was pouring the tea from the pot into two cups. He offered her one which she took gratefully, and then he sat back and took a sip. watching her over the top of the cup.
Aiko wasn’t quite sure where to begin. She had a lot that she wanted to ask, and a lot she wanted to share, but was not sure where to start. She took another sip of her tea, set the cup down, and then placed her hands on her lap and stared down at them.
Aiko…please…don’t mess this up! she told herself. But she stayed quiet, wondering if the moment would pass her by.
*****
Jake let the silence grow for a bit. He had no idea what to do or where to start. He drank his tea and then watched this porcelain beauty as she sat looking miserable. Just as he was wondering if he should maybe leave again, he heard a voice whisper in his ear – a voice he had not known for very long, but a voice that was as dear as any he had ever heard in his life: Kaiah’s voice. She whispered to him, “My heart, you have to help her. She has something she wants to tell you. Let her know that you will listen.”
Thank you, my Little Dove, he said in his heart. And then aloud he said, “Akemi-san, thank you again for all that you have done today. It is more than you had any responsibility to do, and yet you cared for me when I was a stranger. You are very kind, and I am so happy that I found you.”
Aiko looked up and saw that his face looked sincere. So she told him, eyes lowered again, “No, Cody-san, it is no more than I felt I should do. You helped me out today, and I wanted to repay you. I’m glad that I was able to be useful to you.”
They sat for another few moments sipping the tea, and then Jake said, “Akemi-san, I do not know why you asked me to come back, but I am very grateful that you did. I truly have no place to stay tonight, and even though I could find a hotel of some sort, I am grateful that you brought me back here.
“Akemi-san, I feel like there is something that you are wanting to tell me. I know that you do not know me, that until this morning I was a stranger. But I want you to know that you can tell me anything. I will listen, and if you need help, I will do anything in my power to help you.” With that, he sat his cup down and waited.
*****
Aiko couldn’t believe it – how did he know that she wanted to talk, to tell him about her life? There was a reason – it was not just to tell the story. She was not sure if he would understand the reason – but with such an opening, she steeled herself and started to talk.
“Cody-san, I want to tell you about me and about my life. There is a reason for this, but that reason won’t make much sense until you hear my story. I hope you will listen to the end.”
Jake told her, “I will listen quietly. If you ask me a question, I will answer, but other than that, I will not speak until you are done telling me what you wish to tell me.”
A sudden warmth spread through Aiko. She found that she trusted this man implicitly. Yes, he was a stranger. Yes, she had only met him today. But every single thing he had done since they met led her to believe that she could trust him.
So she started to talk.
“I have had a lonely life. I was raised by busy parents as an only child. They asked a lot of me – doing chores, doing my schoolwork, being the perfect daughter, but they did not return a lot of affection. But that was OK – I was treated well. They were not mean parents. They were not unfair. But they never really told me that they loved me.”
She continued talking about growing up and going to school, about what happened with Yuki-chan betraying her in middle school, and how from then on she had been taken advantage of all of her school life. escort etiler It surprised her how open and thorough she was. She dredged up old hurts and wounds, she remembered slights long forgotten, and put on display how lonely she had been in school.
“Cody-san, I would not have minded doing all of these things for them, if only they had invited me to come with them on their outings.” Tears started to flow. She bowed her head for a moment to gather herself. She looked up at Cody-san and was shocked to see tears on his face as well!
“Cody-san! What’s wrong?”
He told her, in a voice thick with emotion, “Akemi-san, your story hurts my heart. I’m so sorry that those around you took advantage of you. You deserved better.”
The hope in her heart flared a little higher at that. “Cody-san, it was not you. Thank you for your words.”
She then continued on with her story. She told him of college and how the girls from her high school caused this to continue. She spoke of how she thought she wasn’t going to ever find anyone, and that she decided to spend her college years trying to find fulfillment in helping others.
Then she talked about the job that she got after college, and how she had met her husband. “Sato-san showed interest in me. So we dated and got married.” She went on to describe what her marriage had been like.
She stopped talking for a moment and looked like she wanted to continue, but for some reason couldn’t. Then she heard Cody-san say, “Akemi-san, thank you for telling me all that you have told me so far. I told you before you began that you could tell me anything, and so you can. Even if it is hard, you can tell me.
“Sometimes when there is something inside of us that hurts our souls, we need to get it out. We need to express it to another person. Many people talk with therapists, and even though I am not trained as a therapist, I will listen to anything you have to say, with the hopeful result that it can start to heal your soul.”
“Arigato…” she whispered. He just sat back again and waited. Aiko looked deep inside herself. Could she really tell such personal things to him? Such hurtful things? The most shameful and intimate details of her life? Looking into his eyes, and seeing the kindness in them, she decided that the answer was yes.
So she started talking again. “Cody-san, I am going to tell you some very personal things. This is not something that is normally done, at least not among people that I have met. Things like this are usually reserved for close family members. But I trust you, and I know that you will listen with kindness.”
So she told him about their honeymoon. “Cody-san, I had thought that making love was supposed to be a beautiful thing.” She had to gather herself before she blurted out, ” Cody-san, he hurt me! He didn’t care that I wasn’t ready, he didn’t care that it was painful! He was drunk and a brute, and it left me bleeding and in pain!” She collapsed into a torrent of tears.
*****
Jake didn’t know what to do or to say. He felt anger at this idiot, who would hurt such a beautiful and innocent creature as this. He wanted to console her, but he didn’t know what was culturally appropriate. He sat there not doing anything until Kaiah once again prodded him: My heart, go to her. Sit by her and stroke her hair. It isn’t done normally, but I feel that she needs it.
So Jake crossed to the other couch where she was sitting and sat down by her head. He told her, “Akemi-san, I don’t want to do anything that is unwelcome. But I feel the need to comfort you. Please tell me to stop if you want me to. I promise to stop.” And he put his hand on her head, and stroked her long hair.
*****
Aiko didn’t know what to do. She was weeping uncontrollably at this point. She was startled when she felt Cody-san’s weight on the couch next to her, felt her stomach lurch when he talked, and felt a bloom of emotions all at once that she had no way of deciphering when his hand started to stroke her hair. She wondered what he was going to do, how far he was going to take this, but when he just sat there comforting her, she kept weeping. It was a different kind of cry though. Before it had been in despair, a vocalization of a lifetime of neglect and being taken advantage of. Now, it was somehow a release of all of that pain.
Aiko turned to look away from the couch and, throwing all caution to the wind, she scooted towards him so that she could place her head on his lap. She heard his breath catch, but he didn’t stop stroking her hair. After a moment, she felt that she could continue.
“That was our marriage for three years, Cody-san. Most nights he wanted sex, and whether or not I wanted it, he felt I was his property. Never once did he think about my feelings, and never once in three years of marriage did he worry about my pleasure. It was all about him. And because of that, I have never had…” She clapped her hands over her mouth, unable to say the word “orgasm.” escort beyoğlu But Jake heard her and understood.
She waited a moment for her embarrassment to subside, and then finally told the last part of her story. She told him of the night before she left, of his demand, of how ill it made her feel to contemplate it, and of how he had beat and kicked her in a fury. Cody-san’s hand stopped and tightened on her hair for a moment at that, and she glanced up and saw his jaw clenched in anger. Rather than make her feel scared, however, it made her feel good that he would be angry on her behalf.
“That next morning he demanded that everything be cleaned up by the time I got home. Instead, I packed a single small case of everything I wanted from our marriage, and I left.” She described coming to live here with Oba-sama, how she had died and left Aiko the house, and how she had built herself a life as a kindergarten teacher. And then she grew quiet.
*****
Jake was having a hard time processing everything. No wonder she was so skittish, why she was always so confused when he wanted to do something for her. Her whole life had been giving, with nobody giving back in return. He felt all too keenly what that was like.
She was quiet for a while though, and so he finally said, “Akemi-san, thank you for telling me. That cannot be an easy story to tell, let alone to someone you just met. Thank you for trusting me with it.”
He then said, “But you are right – I’m not sure why you felt you wanted to bring me back in to tell me the story. I am grateful – but can you tell me why you opened this up to me?”
The beautiful woman in his lap sat up. His lap felt empty with her absence, but he knew that what she was about to say would be important.
“Cody-san,” she said, “I have been ignored and abused my whole life. I have always wanted someone to think of me as I think of them. But after my failed marriage, I thought that it was not to be. I had become used to the idea that I would always be alone, that nobody would truly care for me.
“And then you showed up in my life today and, without asking for a thing, you tracked down a thief and received an assault in return. When I tended to your wounds, you spent the rest of the day doing things for me. I am not asking for you to be this person for me – we don’t know each other. But Cody-san – I have to know. Are there people out there like you? Could there somehow, somewhere, be a man who will care for me, and love me, as I care for him and love him?” And then embarrassed by her boldness, she lay back in his lap.
As Jake had listened to her story, the suspicion that she was the person he was supposed to help became certainty. He started to stroke her hair again, and told her, “Akemi-san, to answer your question, would it be OK if I told you a story myself?”
She looked up at him from his lap, and he realized that she needed a short answer before the long one. So he looked down into her beautiful face and, in a moment of daring, stroked her cheek and chin with one finger. “I will tell you the story, but let me tell you this: yes. There is someone out there for you who will love you and cherish you. You are such a kind and pure soul. Anyone who took the time to get to know you would know how special you are. Not everyone gives with such abandon, with such a caring heart.”
*****
Aiko’s heart burst alight with this exchange. The stroke on her cheek and chin was the most wonderful feeling she had ever felt in her life. It was as if he was drawing a line of electricity across her, and it resonated with her soul. She knew that, no matter what, she had to do anything she could to try to keep this man around, or at the very least to find someone half as wonderful as he had shown himself to be.
She grabbed his hand and held it to her cheek. “Cody-san, thank you. I know it has been a hard story to hear, and you have helped just by listening. And thank you for your answer. It gives me hope to hear it.”
*****
Jake couldn’t believe the butterflies in his stomach as she held his hand to her cheek. When she let go, he went back to stroking her hair.
“Akemi-san, let me tell you my story, if you are willing to hear it.”
She sat up and told him, “Cody-san, I would be honored for you to tell me your story. As you were gentle to me as I told you my story, so I will be when you tell me yours.” As she sat there, he saw something in her that hadn’t been there before. Maybe it was…confidence? Whatever it was, it was good.
“Well, my story, while somewhat different, has some similar themes….”
He told her about growing up and realizing that he could feel what other people were feeling. He found out that this wasn’t necessarily normal – it’s not just that he could tell what they were feeling – he actually felt it himself. “This is a blessing and a curse,” he told her. “You can help people feel better when they are down, but it also allows you to be taken escort ortaköy advantage of.”
Pausing with the pain of his memories, he looked over at Akemi-san. She just sat patiently with her hands in her lap.
He told her of how in school he was never very popular, but had never really been an outcast either. He didn’t date, but when he was a Senior, Jane took an interest in him. “She was the first to really want to spend time with me. It was flattering.”
He told her of being married just as they started college, and how their sex life was bad from the beginning. “She never really seemed to want to touch me.” He looked at her out of the corner of his eye and said, “I guess we have that in common.” She smiled sadly, so he continued.
He described how after a while she just didn’t want much to do with him anymore. He told her of the conversation that they had had. “It wasn’t just that she rejected me. It was that I could feel her disgust as she called me a pervert. She took what was supposed to be the most beautiful thing in our lives and used it to hurt me in the deepest way possible.”
Now it was his turn to break down. He sat silently as his tears flowed. He looked at her, and she was, again, crying like him. “Akemi-san, are you OK?”
She smiled through her tears and nodded. “Cody-san – you have just taught me that I am not the only person who can feel what others are feeling. I can feel your heart hurting, and I hurt with you.” Surprising both him and herself, she reached out and, in a beautiful act of symmetry, pulled him down until his head was laying on her lap. He cried a little bit harder as her gentle hand started to stroke his hair, just like he had done for her.
His heart started to beat faster, but he felt that he needed to continue.
He talked about the births of his two children and what a joy they were to him. “I would do anything for the two of them,” he said, “including staying in a loveless marriage. They deserved a home.”
He talked about all of the things that had come to his mind as he was hiking towards Mystic Lake just a few days before. How Jane had systematically dismantled his personality and shamed him at every turn. He also told her of his realization: “I know that I bear some of the blame. I should have stood up for myself.”
But she shook her head. “Cody-san, it is not your fault that she mistreated you. She is the one who bears the blame.”
But he said, “She should not have said those things and mistreated me. But I know now that it is also my responsibility to stand up when I know something is wrong, whether it is against someone else, or if I am being mistreated. I know it will be hard for me, but I can do it if I try.”
He described the last few years of his marriage. “One example that pretty much describes how things were was a couple of months ago. I had taken some letters to the mailbox and had retrieved the mail. When I got home, I gave her the package she had been waiting for and then, knowing that she wanted to watch a TV show, I went downstairs to wait.
“It was about 30 minutes later that she came downstairs and berated me for not telling her that I was home.”
He paused. “I had talked to her – given her a package – and yet she had no memory of this. It was as if anything having to do with me was not important. She didn’t even notice me.”
Akemi-san stroked his hair a little more gently and said, “I am sorry for that. You deserve better. I can’t believe how foolish she was – what a treasure she had in a man who takes an interest in her and cares for her.”
“Akemi-san, this is the reason I told you my story. It may not have been exactly the same, but I understand what it is to give and give and give, and to have the other person not reciprocate. After a while, you just feel…”
“Empty!” she whispered.
Nodding, Jake said, “Yes, that’s the best word for it. Empty. That you just have nothing left. I don’t know what I would have done if the tragedy hadn’t happened.”
He finished his story. He told her of how, 6 weeks ago now, his wife had been killed in an accident. When he told her what happened, her breath caught and she sobbed just a little. He could feel her sadness over the tragedy, even though she had never met Jane, and even after all that Jake had told her. Jake later thought that this might be the first moment he felt love for her.
He described the urge to go back to his roots, his trip to Montana, his backpacking in the Beartooth mountains. He was hesitant to tell the next part, because it would sound crazy. But he knew that he needed to tell her.
“Akemi-san, what I’m about to tell you is true, and I want you to hear the whole story before you say anything.”
He described Old Bill, the pack, the journey, and saving Kaiah from the bear. He thought he felt her tense up, though, when he described Kaiah.
He told Akemi-san about the vision quest, though not all of the details – he told her that Grandmother Earth had sent him to Japan, that he had woken up this morning in the hotel in this city, and one of the first people he met had been Akemi-san herself.
And then he grew quiet. He was just waiting for her to push his head off of his lap and demand that he leave. But as the moments ticked by, and she didn’t do anything like that, he turned and looked up at her.
Ben Esra telefonda seni boşaltmamı ister misin?
Telefon Numaram: 00237 8000 92 32
İlk Yorumu Siz Yapın